So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
