dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
