How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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