I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
there is puke in my bra ... again
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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