community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
