she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
