Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
