Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
