i don't plan on having that self control this summer
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
