I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
