She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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