im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
