are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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