Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
