I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Come see our sink grown plant.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
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