is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
