Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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