Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize