i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
