yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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