So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
