Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
