You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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