Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
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Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
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Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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