mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
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