God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
