I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
