By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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