Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
