She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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