I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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