Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
