Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
