I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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