About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
