I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
