She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
