even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
