Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
