I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
