it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
This is the high leading the old right now
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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