AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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