also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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