census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
