I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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