1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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