brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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