I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
