Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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