Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
