so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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