Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
