I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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