she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
