Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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