Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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