I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
