So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
