Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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