If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
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Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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